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Monday, 02 November 2009

fam ♥ friends ♥ buns ♥ work

5 events which have inspired me to appreciate life just a little bit more.
i didn't realize the past two months had flown by so quickly...
i also realized that it's so hard for me to sit in front of my computer now that i work a day job which revolves around it.

but i'm sick and feeling blah, so here i am.

1. my parents drove cross country and brought me my 2002 camry as a "gift." they took their sweet time going across the country and visiting a bunch of places that they had always wanted to visit (such as the New Orleans, Austin, the Grand Canyon,) and some they didn't (Roswell) taking a gazillion pictures throughout. While they had an idea of where they were going to go and visit, they basically just left one morning and popping into (sometimes creepy) motels every night. I'm extremely happy to have been raised by such free spirits, and its kinda interesting to really see how free they are. I never really noticed how happy and laid back my parents were until i started to meet other people's parents. compared to many that i've met, my parents kind of keep to themselves (none of the filipino gossiping shit here), leave me and my sister to be responsible for our actions (no defending us or even bragging about us for that matter) and always ignoring and dismissing bullshit so that the positive can shine through. i guess i finally see what other people see when they say i have "cool" parents. =P another cool point for them: since they gave me the camry, they had a chance to buy a new car... and they bought my mom's dream car! lol a 1992 miata:racing stripe included and in excellent condition and with extremely low mileage. wow. anyways, my 'rents visited me and just as spontaneously, my family from sacramento started driving down for a hollywood visit. i love my kuyas (my older male cousins) and ate(same but female... just for you non pinoys). i somehow ended up hosting lunch at my apartment which crammed eleven people into J and I's mini one bedroom apartment. I love hanging out with everyone cause everyone's just so laid back and always able to laugh about everything (including the bad!). even though we are all of age, my cousin Myles, J and I had so much fun pretending to "smuggle" beer into his hotel room. Yeah it's fun to still act like kids.
my family spoils me silly in such cute little ways. at some point, i didn't have enough glasses for everyone to drink from, so my magic bullet mixer cups were being used...how embarrassing... but it was cool, cause then my cousins ended up buying me a new set of tumblers to match my corelle set. my cousins also bought me a new gps system for my car (which is old enough that is has a tape player in it!). i love it!

2. on the downside, a friend passed away a few weeks ago. i won't pretend we were best buddies or anything, more like college party buddies, but the fact remains i still don't believe it was her time and i had a hard time aseptic it. She was only 26, bubbly, cute, tiny and healthy as far as anyone knew. it was an attack of meningitis, so it's not exactly something that could have been preempted and it took her quickly. within days of the initial headache, she was gone. all i can say is that i'm sad that she's gone and it definitely reminded me that each day is precious.

3. Vegas with my big bro and "the professionals." simply being the little sister and being treated out and spoiled all over vegas is always a treat that should be appreciated. it's also pretty entertaining to see money disappear so quickly. of course it's only funny when it's not yours.. haha. also entertaining: watching a grown man taste test every single flavor of slushee they have at fat tuesday. seriously? pick one! or just get 190 Octane like i do! If i ever want to be rich like them, i'll have a leg up on a nerdy government job in DC. maybe one day...

4. so the number one thing i wanted to do when i got a car was get myself a bunny. if you've ever been to downtown los angeles, you'll see these rabbits that are sold illegally on the streets. they're way to young to be away from their mother, but by the time they are on the streets, there's not much you can do to reunite them. so i wanted to "save" one of those. J and I went hunting for a pet one day and couldn't help but want to save them all. the street vendors keep them in these super mini cages with no water and barely any food. they're stacked one on top of the other, and sometimes the cages are covered or kept in black trash bags. i remember visiting months ago and looking at one, and a kid maybe no more than 12 years old, puller out another cage from his trash bag and offered me a choice of other colors. sad isn't it? anyways, two weeks ago, i was on a mission to take one home, and i out of a stack of three bunnies, i picked the sickest, smallest and saddest looking one. I named him Mochi. J and I fell in love and nursed him back to health, or so we thought... Mochi was finally eating, running, begging to be picked up, and making cute little noises, but we came home one day and he just wasn't waking up anymore. apparently there's not really a way to diagnose baby bunnies since you won't know anything about the mother, so they're high risk of sudden death. i was devastated, but have come to the conclusion that she had a really good time playing with us, and if she was going to die, than at least it was with us rather than in a trash bag dehydrated in downtown LA. like a child, i went on the bunny rebound. i'm now taking care of a baby rabbit i call Domo, but am really trying not to get so attached until i know he'll make it. either way, i think he's happy now so that's all that matters to me. if i could save them all, i would. couldn't take the heartbreak of seeing another baby bunny go to sleep, so i adopted a "teen" bunny from the animal shelter. for every one that is bought off the street and in stores, one of these full grown buns dies cause noone wanted to take them home. he's happy healthy and way past that age of "mysterious baby death" so now i have no excuse for him not making it! =)

5. i survived a round of layoffs at work. i guess i was delusional thinking that we as a whole were lucky enough to not be affected. i guess i wanted to believe that since the economy was on it's way back up that we were making it past that point when people would have to leave... now i hate myself for annoyed with my small raise this year. hell, it was still a raise right? i didn't think i'd get that emotional, but it such a sad thing to look for someone you see every day and *whoops* they aren't there and they really can't help you anymore. whats sucks a bit more is that not only did some people lose their jobs, but everyone else has to pick up the slack. and no matter how much the big ups try to reassure the rest of us that they are done with the layoffs, i still feel extremely paranoid that i'm not working hard enough... which is ironic especially since i now feel like i'm picking up extra duties to fill in for some missing people. i wonder if this is a normal feeling? it kinda sucked not being able to say bye to most of them since it was a surprise and all done after most people had gone home for the day, but i was able to catch up with one who i'm happy to say was taking it as a blessing disguise. time to work on building up talent that gets pushed back because of work. anyways, i wish the best for all of them and hope that things get better from everyone.

- ♥ cheska

Tuesday, 01 September 2009

shy eyes

so if i haven't yet mentioned it to you, i got lasik at the beginning of the month. it was one of the most instantly gratifying desicions i've ever made! i tottally wasn't even thinking about it when august started, but a coworker of mine got it so a click went off in my head. I just HAD to have it too. i did some research, visited a doctor, and had my eyes sliced all in one week. just another example of my rash decision making.

... to start off with, i've had glasses since i was 7. they had to be HUGE since i also needed them to be bifocals. yes. bifocals. i had to learn to lean my head up to read at that age and it SUCKED... if you haven't figured it out, that is me with the awesome pink spiral straps to hold up my crystal clear frames. Eeeew... i had to wear those horribly large glasses or some variation untill i was 13... mom finally let me get contacts before highschool. still had problems then cause my eyes were prone to infections and were,well... just weird. it took me three different trials of contacts before i found a brand of contacts (preference toric) which didn't pop out of my eyes or give me infections. my contacts cost 50 bucks a pair and come in these fancy pants crack bottles. i also had to clean them with that stupid little fizzy cup and hydrogen peroxide. 3 times more expensive per month than any regular no-rinse formular... anyways, same routine and same contacts i was wearing up untill just last month.

... my contacts prescription is -6.25 and -6.75. i can't see myself in the mirror clearly even when i'm 3 inches away from it.

... anyways, enough of my woes. i've been dealing with it.

... to describe what happens during the procedure is the best part. after all my checkups and such, i lay back in a chair much like a dentists one. numbing drops are put into my eyes. i'm told to stare at a little green light above my head. a suction tube is placed on my eye. imagine a tiny little vacuum hose... except inside the hose, there is a tiny blade that turns in a circle so that it cuts a flap in your cornea. gross to think about... the suction is removed and i see the doctor come at my eye with the tiny spatula type tool which basically just flips the cornea flap open, like turning a pancake. i continue to stare at the light and dr. lee holds another tool over my eye in the way of the laser... the lasers begin to buzz, whir and make some snapping noises and i begin to smell burning! my eyes are being lasered!!!! dr. lee and his assistant are singing 'AAHHHHHHH" to calm my nerves and to cover up the startling noises cause they can see i'm getting antsy. a minute and a half of a laser burning on my eye and the laser stops. my flap is replaced, and dr.lee smooths it out with saline and a little brush basically making the flap stick back down on my eye. eeeew! same thing done to my other eye and i was all set to go home.
i was able to see for about 20 seconds... before the pain and sensitivity got to me and my eyes slammed shut and the tears started flowing. J had to guide me out. poor me and my sensitive eyes... some people have the surgery and are able to get up and go with some sunglasses on in just a few minutes... but dr. lee could tell from the get go that my eyes were not going to take it well.
i went home and felt my eyes burning for five hours straight! the vicodin and candy looking drugs they gave me did not help me one bit! my eyes were slammed shut and i had to take a slight overdose of sleeping pills to try to pass out from the pain. this pain was excruciating. my eyes were closed, but i could still feel burning on the INSIDE of my eyeballs. no matter where i "looked" behind my eyelids, the burning was making me think i had to look elsewhere...
after 5 hours of that, i was finally able to open my eyes a little. i still lay in bed with the blinds drawn and with my sunglasses on. J read me some two minute mysteries to keep my mind off the fact that i had been in bed ALL DAY! a few hours later, and still in my sunglasses, i was able to open my eyes and lay on the couch.
i was finally able to watch some tv!

... fun stuff i had to do... no makeup for a month, nasty tasting(they go down your tear drops and to the back of your throat) eye drops for two weeks, no heavy drinking (cause it dries out your eyes and makes them red), no smoky areas (so no korean bbq or clubbing... sad face), no swimming (and no beach cause just one peice of sand in my eyes would f*them up pretty bad), these cute little plastic shields to tape to my face while i sleep, and carry artificial tears everywhere i go.

... one month later and i'm lookinng back and thinking that the one day of pain was tottally worth it. if you've never had to deal with not being able to see when you first waking up, you're quite lucky. it sucks having to depend on glasses or having to bump into walls on the way to the bathroom to stick those contacts in.

... let me know if you wanna check out my doctor, he's tottally chill done over 40,000 sets of eyes and more affordable than any other hollywood/cali doctor without being shady.

Monday, 24 August 2009

mega millions

lets just dream for a minute.
what if you won the megamillions tomorrow?
my realistic list

Estimated Jackpot Amount For the Next Draw : $ 252,000,000 Estimated Cash Value of Jackpot : $ 159,200,000

DAY 1:
+ i'd take care of all my paperwork on day 1 just to make sure everything is legit- gotta make sure my millions are real!
+ call into work and take an unplanned vacation. can't let them worry about me! LOL.

WEEK 1
+ cash a couple hundred (in ones) just so i can roll around in it. maybe even fill the bathtub with it.
+ wrap a few of those ones on a toilet paper roll.
+ stuff all the pockets of my jeans so i'll ALWAYS have a surprise dollar in my pocket
+ rub the win in jerk's faces by sending singing dancing telegrams dressed in hello kitty outfits to the people i hate. (can hello kitty sing???)
+ make my local tv appearances interesting by making faces into the cameras while humming.
+ climb the ktla tower. bribe cops to let me go. take pictures.
+ dim sum parrrtttty!
+

what to buy
+ buy myself, my sister and my parents new Acuras. - yeah, i don't care how rich i'd be, i still cant just throw money away...
+ murakami louis vuitton, my ONLY brand craving.
+ college funds for all my cousins. in-state public universities only.
+ puppy needs a yard which only belongs with a home = three different homes in three different cities nationwide. owned.
+ white gold. more of it.
+ jet blues all-you-can-jet pass. non stop month.
+
+

more to add later?

maybe i should help luck out... and actually buy a ticket...

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

how would you tell your significant other that his/her breath kicked?

about to sleeeeep...

J: did you brush your teeth?
Me: yes.
J: (sniff)... thoroughly?

pwned.
what do you do when you're faced with negative energy/people?

my mom always cheers me up. people piss me off, and my mom tells me i never seem angry enough. i'm too happy to be on reality tv... =)
anyways, as always, i was taking things in stride and i was refusing to lower myself to anybody else's level, but shit was still annoying me.
to keep a long story short, when you know that all a group of people do is talk crap behind each other's back and accuse each other of the most frivolous things... (and i know this by being a spectator, not a participant) and you know you've refused to do something they ask of you (like give money) well, you can only assume (and very surely) that they are doing the same to you...

btw... i believe in helping out, but not hand outs. if you don't know the difference, i'll never loan you money!

i am in no way perfect, but i do just try to be me and just enjoy myself... some people just don't like that.
<sarcasm>i guess cause i'm content with myself that i must think i'm better than everyone else. right? </sarcasm>

anyways, i obviously won't lower myself, to their level, but i WILL let it affect me.... in a good way.
i've just learned that when people piss me off, the best thing to do is just try to better yourself and simply enjoy life. i mean really, what can these losers do to you? they can continue to watch and critizcize and in the end their life is sucking as they hate on you while you're out doing what you do. =)
you're just motivating more and more to do fun and better things...

watch me be awesome while you chug on your haterade.

some simple tips i can definitely relate to.
Never forget that "the more you put out, the more you receive".
Be thankful that you are alive to experience this day, and you will be given more days to be thankful for.
Be thankful for yesterday, and be happy today.
Be happy today, and prosper tomorrow.
cheesy but true.......